Thirty years ago I set out on the path of truth, with a small t.
Under the occassional guidance of a Native American Medicine Woman and Man, I have endeavored:
"To know the truth,
To speak the truth,
To walk the truth,
And to honor the truth."
True to the warning, that I should not follow this path and do anything else if I could, that it would cause me pain, and cause my family (which did not yet exist) pain, I sit here writing to you heartbroken and alone. But I also sit here with myself, and a great deal of new understanding that I could not have gained had I chosen another path. And I would not undo it even if I could. I have made a great number of mistakes, which I am ready to apologize for. And I am also ready to turn my hand to those who would follow. Please read the warning again before you start.
In honor of my teachers, I will henceforth teach in a traditional manner.
I recently ran afoul of a local church while trying to get support. All I can think of this evening about it is:
"I am the church,
You are the church,
We are the church together.
All of God's people,
All around the world,
Yes! We're the church together."
And how ridiculous this song is in any age. Every church says they have the Only Way to the One True God when all you have to do is to walk out on a starry night and see the multitudinous stars in the sky to know the innumerable ways there are to the Divine. Each bright and shining pinpoint of light calls out to our souls to walk this path! No!! Choose me! I am your truth! I am your way! When in reality the only truth or way I have found that fits me is to listen to that still small voice inside, "to be willing to sacrifice at any moment what I am for what I can become," to quote a poster from high school. This morning in fact I made my favorite local church historian pull the car over because my teacher appeared as a bird flying back to the lake where I say prayers. I hopped out, retraced our steps and was graced with an eagle leaving the lake towards its nest in my neighborhood. Always beautiful, always a sweet tip that I am walking the path the Divine has set my feet upon. A little tobacco for moment with the sacred. This afternoon I went and decided on the healing pool that I will use. Chipmunk had chosen differently, but access was difficult and muddy. My dog and I favor the location we will use from now on. You are welcome to join us at sunrise as long as the water is running.